


If you love me let me go

by elyas



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: 2015 - Freeform, Bitter, Denial, M/M, Post Break-up, Post MCR, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-24
Updated: 2015-04-24
Packaged: 2018-03-25 13:48:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3812797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elyas/pseuds/elyas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Let's admit that love stories always end up in a bad way. Especially the most beautiful ones. Here, we have Frank just talking to Gerard about their current situation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If you love me let me go

And you, do you still think about what could have been sometimes ? I don’t blame you for anything since a long time. You and me know that this story is dead and buried for years now. But telling you I forgot this period of our live would be a lie. I think about it. And I regret it. But this is not a constant feeling. I’m not what I used to be anymore, that means a pale shadow of myself when you used to hurt me. And you still do to be honest. But I came to know how to not let my pain consume me. I didn’t forgive you, and I will certainly never understand you. I don’t want to be ridiculous by always ranting about something that remind you of a time you want to forget now. But I sometimes think about it and I sometimes ask myself why did you go. Why are you afraid to live ? Why are you afraid of all the things that define you ? Why do you have this habit of always bring pain all around you ?   
I see you often with this envy to bring joy in the hearts and the live of all those kids. But you will never suceed completely. You’re a disaster Gerard. You’re a lost child, forever a teenager looking for himself whereas you’re almost 40. Convinced that everything is alright while your world is burning. While nothing is going well in short. You trapped yourself in a vicious circle. But seriously it’s kind of funny. Is there someone who is whispering you everynight « you’re doing fine ; you’re so happy » ? How do you do to believe this complete lie ? I know you. I know that’s not true. But you want to believe I guess.   
But who are you ?  
Sometimes I don’t think I know you anymore. I can guess you’re not well. But if it was only me who never really knew who the real you is ? You know, I thought you were my soulmate for so long.

I don’t think I was wrong. Because despite everything, there will always be room for you. You gave me hapiness a long time ago, when I was just a kid, looking up for that incredible art guy who wanted me to join a band. You were such a important influence in my life, in my heart, in my inspiration. You were my lighthouse. You were the mainstay of my life. But when I think of you, I can’t help but think about the fact that the man I once admire is gone. Where are you ? What did you become ? A bitter character with a made up and fake smile ? You are not what I once knew anymore. You’re just a plastic product. And the more I see your face, and the more you disgust me. The more I see you cling to the illusions you sell to them, and the more you make me want to vomit.  
« Ignore the past » seems like the way you chose.  
I’d never understand your logic, but if you want to play this game, here I am.  
So now, ignore more than ten years in this band and ignore the kiss that, once upon a time, wiped your tears everynight. Ignore the excitation to come onstage with your bestfriends. Ignore the first chills. But mostly ignore all that could have been if you had never hide behind apologies.  
Now, I’m hell-bent on slipping away. And I will never turn round ever again.  
I’ll ignore as well.

But unlike you, I know I’ll never regret a single of my choices. This is my way to put an end to one of the most painful chapter of my life. How many time I thought I could never be able to do it. That I was damned. That I sold my soul to you. That I was hopeless. I know now that the one who will suffer the most between the two of us won’t be me. I’ve always been true. I’ve always been sincere. But sincerity when you’re face to a selfish coward is useless don’t you think ?  
I let you lead this life you love so much. May the pills create a big hole in your heart that you will never be able to fulfill. May you destroy yourself from the inside, cause the appearance is the only thing that matter. May you die like you came in this world. Ignorant and devoid of any logical thought.  
But in the end I know I don’t have to wish you all those atrocities. Because we both know that i twill happen anyway.

« If you love me let me go. » you told me once.

That’s what I’m doing now. I love you so much I could tear out my heart.

See you in hell.

**Author's Note:**

> This was very bad written. And since I'm not fluent in English, there are certainly a ton of mistakes so I apologise. I'm kind of ashame of what I've written, but I needed to write something similar to this fanfiction. I may write more in English in the future. And maybe more Frerard. But know I'm a lazy fucker so stories are very rare with me.   
> Hope you enjoyed it ! :)


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